Sometimes I think that phrase was coined specifically for me. More often than I care to admit, it describes my life to a T (where’d that phrase come from anyway?). I awoke this morning with intentions of heading to the gym. However, as I was pain free yesterday, I decided not to go because I was hoping for two days in a row. Clearly I was not thinking rationally.
See, today was another ugly yellow shirt day. Yep, shower, clothes, hair, make-up… the works. And I warned John (the guy I sit next to) that I’d be wearing make-up today due to the ugly yellow shirt so that he wouldn’t start asking me about my love life–he just can’t help himself! This particular ugly yellow shirt day is special, though. It’s an annual event with my company and all offices participate, including Frankfurt and London (yes, my company has offices in Frankfurt, Germany and London, England). I was on my feet from the time I got to work until I left at 4:15 p.m. I didn’t even take a break for lunch (which is why they cut me loose at 4:15 p.m. instead of 5:00 p.m.). Seven hours on my feet is no bueno. I was hurting really, really badly by the time I arrived home. I waddled from the office to my car, my car to the house, and then all through the kitchen as I prepared oatmeal for dinner. I took meds and then camped on a hot pad for the rest of the evening.
Even now, I’m propped up on pillows with a fresh dose of meds and one half of a peanut butter sandwich in my belly. Can you imagine how messed up I’d be if I’d gone walking before work this morning? Aye-yi-yi. Hopefully with the second dose of meds I should sleep like a baby and wake-up pain free.
Now I said my life is often a comedy of errors… I’m not exaggerating. I totally forgot to tell you about something that happened when I was traipsing around Concord and Lexington by my lonesome. I went to the Old North Bridge again because I needed a stamp in my passport. Duh. As such, I first went to the Visitor’s Center and walked around a bit. Then I went over the grounds, taking all sorts of pictures. I had just finished photographing the bridge and turned to make my way back to the car. Unfortunately, I didn’t realize there was a 2-inch step. I managed to place my foot so that it was only half on the step. I immediately lost my balance and crashed to the ground.
Tom, my PT, howled with laughter when he heard the next part.
First, my knees slammed onto the stone slabs. At this point, momentum was not in my favor and gravity wasn’t being very vice either, so I continued forward. Problem? I had my camera in my hands. My Canon 5D with its 70-300mm lens extended. Body? Camera? Body? Camera? As Tom put it, I went maternal over my camera. I managed to curl the camera into my chest as I crashed to the ground. I hit my head and nailed my left wrist, but my camera escaped unscathed. Mission accomplished.
Considering I inflicted these bruises on my person on Monday, April 16, and the photos were taken on Saturday, April 21, you should be quite impressed. It’s one month later, May 16, and I still can’t kneel on my knees. The discoloration is gone, but the deep contusions are still present. Doozies, I tell you. I ended up with a nice goose egg on my left forehead, right at the hairline, as well. And that one broke the skin so I had just a wee bit of blood to show for the whole thing. For the first few days, jeans actually hurt my knees if they were on the tighter side. On the long drive to Maine, I would shift in my seat to relieve my back and get a nice stab of pain in my knee as the denim grew taut. No bueno!
I tell you, my claims of being a klutz are not false advertising!
So after I took my last picture in Acadia National Park, I set out to retrace my path back to Portland, Maine. It was a schlep. As I drove, I began to sneeze. A lot. Please understand that I’m not like most people. You (and most of the human race) sneeze once or twice and you’re good to go. Not the case for me. I marathon sneeze. My average number of sneezes is seven. My record for consecutive sneezes is thirteen. Yes, I count. You would too if you sneezed like this. Why? Because every third person asks, “How many sneezes was that?” I know the sound of five sneezes and then count up. Furthermore, most people have a two syllable sneeze, ah-choo. I don’t. I have a one syllable sneeze, choo. Totally serious. The number of sneezes has no significance regarding allergies, a cold, or anything of that nature. I’ll sneeze eleven times when I’m perfectly fine. That said, I started sneezing a lot on the way to Portland.
As you can see, for me to claim that I’ve sneezed a lot, it means I’m sneezing a ridiculous amount of sneezes! I knew I was either having an allergic reaction to something from the New England area or I had a cold. Drat. It was a cold. I checked into the hotel at 11:30 p.m. and was asleep by midnight. Unfortunately, I had to get up at 4:00 a.m. to get to the airport, return my rental car, and catch my flight. I also had to buy decongestant and antihistamines (the cure all for flying with a cold) at the airport. Yeah, that wasn’t cheap.
The flight from Portland to Dulles (Washington, D.C.) was not particularly enjoyable with all the pressure in my head, but I survived. As we were taxiing on the tarmac, I glanced out the window (I almost always have a window seat when I fly). Lo and behold, when what to my wondering eyes did appear? The Space Shuttle. Piggybacked on a NASA 747. Who knew? Apparently, no one on my flight. I said, “Oh my,” and the flight attendant asked me if I was fine. I told her yes, I was just surprised to see the Space Shuttle. She had to look because she didn’t know it was there either. This photo is as clear as I could get through the airplane window.
Me being me, I had my camera bag at my feet (that baby never gets checked–where I go, so goest my camera!). I pulled out the camera, attached the lens, and photographed the shuttle. I had a two hour layover and saw the shuttle again when we taxied onto the tarmac. On that flight, the pilot alerted everyone to its presence. By this time it was raining and pictures were impossible due to the amount of water on the windows; I was glad I’d already captured some pictures of the shuttle.
Well, the meds have kicked in and I can’t keep my eyes open any longer… I’ll catch you later!